Cold, quiet, solitude
by madgirlmuahaha
Summary: It can be hard to be around people who are so happy when you have so much to be sad about, but you can always take solace in the fact that there will always be others who care enough about you to join you in your grieving process. Post-DD, features JuniperXApollo pairing, but it could also be interpreted as a platonic relationship.


Christmas time is one of the hardest times to be happy when you've just lost your best friend.

You're grateful that you have awesome friends who are there to support you-they're more like family to you, especially since you've never really had a family before-but you still just want to be alone, away from the cheery bells and laughter that are just too loud at this party.

You know that deep down inside, you're really happy that Trucy and Pearl practically dragged you here. They've always been too good at persuading people to have fun. But, even though your little-sister-figures throw a couple of glares at you and try to motion you toward them, you'd rather just step outside for a few minutes instead of getting frosting for gingerbread men all over your hands and clothes like they are.

You cross the street to the park and find a bench to sit on. You're not really doing much, just sitting in the cool December air and taking solace in silence. You can't help but remember all the Christmases you had with your best friend, but you can't think of him without seeing the pool of crimson that he died in, and remembering that now Clay, and all chances of having any new memories with him, are just ash.

You try not to think of him at all now, because you can feel your cheeks start to get wet from something other than the snow that is drifting lazily around you. He wouldn't want you to cry for him anymore. You didn't cry when you first heard he was dead. You didn't cry when you suspected your co-worker of his murder. You didn't cry when justice was served to the real killer. You shouldn't be crying now.

A pair of brown eyes looks out the window of the Wright Anything Agency and recognizes your signature red jacket. The owner of those lovely eyes excuses herself and puts on her shawl before she crosses the street and sits on the other side of the park bench. Even though you can feel the bench shift when she sits, you don't really know there is someone else right there next to you until you hear a soft voice, barely audible because of the cold air and light snow.

"Are you cold?"

You turn to meet her gaze. Her face is pale, but her cheeks are a vibrant red. You figure that it seems like she's blushing because it's cold outside, even though Trucy and Pearl constantly have tried to convince you that this girl has a huge crush on you.

"Yeah, I guess I'm a little cold."

She leans closer and looks at your face. Her brow furrows. You find this slightly endearing.

"You've been crying, haven't you?"

This takes you by surprise. Yes, you were crying, but you think you've been doing a very good job of pretending like you haven't. But it has been a long time since the last time you cried, and it's only now that you remember that crying usually leaves behind weary and red eyes, a wet face, and an overall gloomy expression. You'd forgotten all about those tell-tale signs. Of course she would figure out you were crying.

"A little."

Her expression relaxes and turns from one of concern into one of sympathy.

"It's hard, isn't it? Going through such a happy time when you have so much to be sad about?"

"Yeah. We were close as brothers for so long, and now he's just… Not there."

You share a moment of silence with her. It's not an awkward silence, nor is it an empty silence, but a kind of silence that emerges when two people are just completely present with one another and neither feel any need to speak in order to be heard. After a few silent beats, she speaks again.

"I can only imagine how you feel."

This gets your attention. Others have told you, "I know exactly how you feel," before sharing a story about how they had lost their father or their mentor or their long-lost mother who was possessed by a vengeful demon. You can't help but feel a little guilty whenever this happens, because you think the pain you are dealing with is so horrible, nobody knows exactly how painful it is for you. You know that you're not the only one to have lost someone close to you, and you know that others around you have suffered a lot of pain too, but you can't help but think that you really are all alone in dealing with the pain.

With what she says, though, it's different. She recognizes the pain, even if she hasn't truly felt it in her own life. For some reason, this is more comforting than anything else you've heard so far.

Her brown eyes show a level of sincerity that you haven't encountered before.

You don't realize that her hand is on top of yours until she gently squeezes it and stands up. You stand up too.

"Apollo, your hands are getting really cold and clammy. You need to warm up inside."

You realize that your other hand has gone numb from the cold, and you walk back across the street with her and go back into the vibrant, welcoming christmas party.

It's not until you hear the snickers of Trucy and Pearl when you realize that you haven't stopped holding hands with Juniper.


End file.
